That icky love stuff

SO... I'm in Love.
yeah that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

I'm not one that would normally say something like that because love is overrated. No one knows what it is and the people that think they know what it is thinks that it's something other than the next person that thinks they know what it is. So no one really knows, not even the dictionary...
love–noun

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.	sexual passion or desire.

4.	a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.	(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

6.	a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

7.	sexual intercourse; copulation.

8.	(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

9.	affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

10.	strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

11.	the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.

12.	the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.

13.	Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.

14.	a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

(*1)
There is over 14 definitions to the word LOVE as a noun. My point proven. No one knows.

Now I might get a little personal here... For those of you who know me, when I was 15 my parents got divorced. I'm hesitant to tell people this but it fucked me up. In a way that I don't want to fall in love, and that I'm afraid not to fall in love. I can't hold a relationship longer that a few months, but I fall fast. My last boyfriend, I have no reason why I was with him. I was not attracted to him or any of his qualities. Maybe it was because I was afraid to be alone. It's a possibility.
My dad left my mom for a stripper. After two marriages my mom ended up meeting someone on the internet and got married after 2months. My mom is happier than could ever be. My dad is now married to a witch and he...well lets say he could be happier. (I personally liked the stripper better.)
After years of being an irresponsible person Ive finally realized what I want for the rest of my life, and how to get it. The problem is doing what I need to do to get it IE. quit smoking, go to church, quit being a whore... etc. Back to the point that I am in love... I believe I really am. It sucks. I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach. "I think ill go anti-love. Really, who needs it? Butterflies in the tummy & hearts skipping beats... that can't be safe." Love side effects suck ass. Can we all just feel the same about everyone?
I don't know, maybe I'm not in love... maybe it's just in my head.


**That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.
-Sixteen Candles

*References:
1.) http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love